Narrator With the Fold Crystal shattered into several parts and scattered amongst the Solar System, the SDF-1 finds itself unable to return to Earth. Worse yet, Queen Breetai and her MegaVerse MegaForce are also trying to get the Crystal before the crew of the SDF-1. With their most powerful energy-source gone (and a fair chunk of their ship as well), the valiant crew of the SDF-1 will need to turn to new defences if they hope to defeat the MegaVerse. They need - The Sailor Scoots. er, Scouts.
Episode two Entrance! Sailor Swoon!
[Inside the SDF-1. For no apparent reason, save that it sounded good at the show's inception, a city has been built inside the bowels of the ship (nice image, isn't it?). Curiously enough, it resembles Tokyo. A girl in a Japanese school uniform is running through a park.]
Dimmei Oh, heck... I'm late. I'm, like, so late.
Ben Hiya, Dimmei. Want to hear a list of all the components in a plasma-intermix chamber?
Dimmei <SCREAM> Dammit, Ben! Don't sneak up on people like that!
Ben Why are you running, Dimmei?
Dimmei Because I'm late for school. And why aren't you running?
Ben It's Saturday - no school.
Dimmei <facefault> Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?
[Dimmei walking back towards home. She bumps into what looks like a wino.]
Dimmei Ew, like, get a shower.
Dr. Luna Could it be? Is it she?
Lumière Sacrébleu! Invaders!
Dr. Luna Wrong show.
Lumière So sorry, Monsieur. I thought I'd heard my cue.
Dr. Luna Perfectly alright. Now, where was I?
Dimmei "Is it she?"
Dr. Luna Thank you. Could she be the answer to our problems?
[SDF-1 bridge. Red lights are flashing everywhere. Outside, ostriches with large guns can be seen flying around the ship, destroying its fighters. Needless to say, the crew is dealing with it admirably.]
Bridge Usagis WAAAaahhhh!!! We're gonna die!!!
Cloddia Someone please turn that infernal racket off?
[sound effect: Heavy frying pan (1d6) gonging three times.]
Cloddia Thank you.
Lisa But what do we do about those ostriches? We don't have a breeding licence.
Dr. Luna (VO) Girls, I have a solution.
Lisa Yes, Dr Luna?
Dr. Luna (VO) I have found someone who can help us. She'll be on your screen any moment now.
[Outside the SDF-1. A lone fighter-craft - called, for some obscure reason, the Chibbi-Macross - piloted by Dimmei appears on our screen.]
Dimmei WAAAAaaahhhh!!! I don't wanna do this. I wanna go hoooooo-ome!
Dr. Luna (VO) Quiet, Dimmei. Now say the words.
[Dimmei's plane is suddenly surrounded by glowing lights. The armour of the craft flies apart, but that's OK - since this is a kiddies show, we don't see anything 'naughty' (damn!). The shape of the craft changes and, as the light subdues, we see it is now a female Mecha wearing what appears to be an figure ice-skating outfit.]
Dimmei Oooo.... Kawai!!!
[SDF-1 Main bridge. Lisa and Cloddia are looking dumbfounded. The Bridge Usagis are still out. Next to the outside window, a cockroach dressed in drags looks at the scene outside.]
Milquetoast This is totally unnatural.
Lisa Dr. Luna, what is going on?
Dr. Luna If we cannot use the Crystal to power our ship, we'll have to find another power source. Therefore, I have found a really cute girl and put her in a really cute robot. In pure Anime fashion, this should raise the hopes of the inhabitants of Macross City. We will collect all that Goodness energy so we can run our ship on Goodness Power.
Minky Momo Hey, that's my Shtick.
Lisa You're right, Doctor. Our energy levels are rising. We are able to fight again.
Cloddia Quick, Lisa - before the audience catches up with the bullshit.
[Outside the SDF-1. The ship itself starts to glow in much the same way as Dimmei's plane did and follows pretty much the same transformation sequence. When the light dies down, the Macross is a humanoid-looking bulk wearing a figure ice-skating outfit.]
[Inside Queen Breetai's ship. Queen Breetai and Execite are watching with interest.]
Queen Breetai The fools. They have no knowledge of space-war outfits. They have transformed into skimpy skirts but have forgotten their panties.
[SDF-1 Main Bridge.]
Cloddia Oh My God, he's... she's... it's right. We forgot the underwear.
Bridge Usagis Eeek!
Eek The Cat You called?
[Outside the SDF-1. Macross and Chibbi-Macross are pulling at their mini-skirts in a futile attempt to cover up.]
Narrator Are our heroes finished? Will Queen Breetai's dastardly plan to make them die of shame work? Will nothing save our intrepid crew? Find out in our next exciting episode: Saviour! Tuxedo Max!
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