Narrator |
With the Fold Crystal shattered into several parts and scattered amongst
the Solar System, the SDF-1 finds itself unable to return to Earth. Worse
yet, Queen Breetai and her MegaVerse MegaForce are also trying to get the
Crystal before the crew of the SDF-1. With their most powerful energy-source
gone (and a fair chunk of their ship as well), the valiant crew of the
SDF-1 will need to turn to new defences if they hope to defeat the MegaVerse.
They need - The Sailor Scoots. er, Scouts. |
Title |
PRETTY MECHA SAILOR SWOON - R (obotech) |
Episode two |
Entrance! Sailor Swoon! |
|
[Inside the SDF-1. For no apparent reason, save that it sounded
good at the show's inception, a city has been built inside the bowels of
the ship (nice image, isn't it?). Curiously enough, it resembles Tokyo.
A girl in a Japanese school uniform is running through a park.] |
Dimmei |
Oh, heck... I'm late. I'm, like, so late. |
Ben |
Hiya, Dimmei. Want to hear a list of all the components in a plasma-intermix
chamber? |
Dimmei |
<SCREAM> Dammit, Ben! Don't sneak up on people like that! |
Ben |
Why are you running, Dimmei? |
Dimmei |
Because I'm late for school. And why aren't you running? |
Ben |
It's Saturday - no school. |
Dimmei |
<facefault> Why didn't anyone tell me sooner? |
|
[Dimmei walking back towards home. She bumps into what looks
like a wino.] |
Dimmei |
Ew, like, get a shower. |
Dr. Luna |
Could it be? Is it she? |
Lumière |
Sacrébleu! Invaders! |
Dr. Luna |
Wrong show. |
Lumière |
So sorry, Monsieur. I thought I'd heard my cue. |
Dr. Luna |
Perfectly alright. Now, where was I? |
Dimmei |
"Is it she?" |
Dr. Luna |
Thank you. Could she be the answer to our problems? |
|
[SDF-1 bridge. Red lights are flashing everywhere. Outside, ostriches
with large guns can be seen flying around the ship, destroying its fighters.
Needless to say, the crew is dealing with it admirably.] |
Bridge Usagis |
WAAAaahhhh!!! We're gonna die!!! |
Cloddia |
Someone please turn that infernal racket off? |
|
[sound effect: Heavy frying pan (1d6) gonging three times.] |
Cloddia |
Thank you. |
Lisa |
But what do we do about those ostriches? We don't have a breeding licence. |
Dr. Luna (VO) |
Girls, I have a solution. |
Lisa |
Yes, Dr Luna? |
Dr. Luna (VO) |
I have found someone who can help us. She'll be on your screen any
moment now. |
|
[Outside the SDF-1. A lone fighter-craft - called, for some obscure
reason, the Chibbi-Macross - piloted by Dimmei appears on our screen.] |
Dimmei |
WAAAAaaahhhh!!! I don't wanna do this. I wanna go hoooooo-ome! |
Dr. Luna (VO) |
Quiet, Dimmei. Now say the words. |
Dimmei |
MECHA! PRISM! POWER! |
|
[Dimmei's plane is suddenly surrounded by glowing lights. The
armour of the craft flies apart, but that's OK - since this is a kiddies
show, we don't see anything 'naughty' (damn!). The shape of the craft changes
and, as the light subdues, we see it is now a female Mecha wearing what
appears to be an figure ice-skating outfit.] |
Dimmei |
Oooo.... Kawai!!! |
|
[SDF-1 Main bridge. Lisa and Cloddia are looking dumbfounded.
The Bridge Usagis are still out. Next to the outside window, a cockroach
dressed in drags looks at the scene outside.] |
Milquetoast |
This is totally unnatural. |
Lisa |
Dr. Luna, what is going on? |
Dr. Luna |
If we cannot use the Crystal to power our ship, we'll have to find
another power source. Therefore, I have found a really cute girl
and put her in a really cute robot. In pure Anime fashion, this
should raise the hopes of the inhabitants of Macross City. We will collect
all that Goodness energy so we can run our ship on Goodness Power. |
Minky Momo |
Hey, that's my Shtick. |
Lisa |
You're right, Doctor. Our energy levels are rising. We are able to
fight again. |
Cloddia |
Quick, Lisa - before the audience catches up with the bullshit. |
Lisa |
MACROSS! TRANSFORMATION! SEQUENCE! |
|
[Outside the SDF-1. The ship itself starts to glow in much the
same way as Dimmei's plane did and follows pretty much the same transformation
sequence. When the light dies down, the Macross is a humanoid-looking bulk
wearing a figure ice-skating outfit.] |
|
[Inside Queen Breetai's ship. Queen Breetai and Execite are watching
with interest.] |
Queen Breetai |
The fools. They have no knowledge of space-war outfits. They have transformed
into skimpy skirts but have forgotten their panties. |
|
[SDF-1 Main Bridge.] |
Cloddia |
Oh My God, he's... she's... it's right. We forgot the underwear. |
Bridge Usagis |
Eeek! |
Eek The Cat |
You called? |
|
[Outside the SDF-1. Macross and Chibbi-Macross are pulling at
their mini-skirts in a futile attempt to cover up.] |
Narrator |
Are our heroes finished? Will Queen Breetai's dastardly plan to make
them die of shame work? Will nothing save our intrepid crew? Find out in
our next exciting episode: Saviour! Tuxedo Max! |