Chapter 29For a few moments, I could almost feel myself being picked up and carried. I could see it happening to me, being supported under the shoulders and half carried, half dragged from the room. I couldn't open my eyes. I could hardly breathe. Then there was nothing. There was no ship, no ground, no air, no space, no me. Absolutely nothing. For an eternity, the nothingness filled me and dominated my non-existence until one small spark began to exist in the distance. A tiny, but blindingly bright spark of- something. It wasn't light, because I had no eyes to see it with. It was something else entirely. It came slowly closer to my point of non- existence and finally touched me. Became me. Finally, for what felt like the first time, I existed. I could see what it was. It was my mind. Folds of grey flesh and nerves, glowing by their very defiant existence. I could feel the life pulsing through it, from within it. I knew that I was alive, or would be. But with life came pain. Almost as blinding as the 'light' from my mind, it shot through me and dissected my freshly found existence. The folds fell away, separating and disintegrating until there was nothing left but a tight, black sphere that reflected light without a source. It was an eye. Now that I had an eye I could see what the eye was attached to. A black head. A black beak. Black feathers. Black wings. A black raven. My black raven. "Nevermore." The first and only word to escape my lips.
[] Izabelle Fate turned around in her chair and looked at me. "What did you mean by that, Lieutenant Commander? 'Nevermore'?" I sat up and looked around. I was lying in a bed in a dark room. The only source of light was Izi's computer terminal. The room looked familiar, but I couldn't identify it. Izi was in a swivel chair by the terminal. She was still wearing her singed flight suit, and her hand was bandaged. She was also still looking at me, waiting for an answer. "I don't know, Izi. I used to, but I don't anymore." Looking around again, I asked, "Where am I?" "You're in my room, Ma'am. At the Black Pegasus." "Really?" I tried to stand up, but realised that was a very bad idea. My ankle was still killing me. "Yes. There are some painkillers on the table there. I figured you might need them. Your right ankle is badly sprained. I hope the bandages I have applied will be sufficient for the time being, but I still recommend that you visit the infirmary." Then her face lost its blank, robitic stare, and she looked at me kindly. "I could help you down there, if you'd like, Commander Landers." I blinked. That wasn't like her. There was something about her that I was forgetting. "I'd appreciate it. Thanks. Why did you bring me here, though? Why didn't you bring me to the infirmary in the first place?" Her face went blank again, as if someone had changed channels on her again. "I do not remember, exactly. There was a reason, but I do not recall it at the moment." Click, went the channel changer again. "It's funny, you know? I know I had a reason, and I know that I've done what I was planning on doing, but I can't, for the life of me, remember what it was." I looked at her terminal again. It had my picture on it, and my dossier. No. Wait. That was Karl's picture. I checked the name at the top of the screen: "Karl Janek Landers." It was right there. My brother's original, unaltered file. The one I had removed from every source of memory I could find on the ship. Every backup tape, disk, and storage platform had been fixed. In that file, there was every scrap of information on my brother and his family. That included me. There was enough information on that one screen to have me... I swallowed. Hard. Izi's face was a perfect picture of friendliness. There wasn't a trace of malice in her expression. <She doesn't know. She even called me Commander. But she has to know. Otherwise, she wouldn't have bothered to call up that file. But-> My mind was still reeling when she turned to the terminal, closed the program and shut it off. Still smiling, but looking concerned now, she turned to me and stood up. "I'd better take you to the infirmary now. It looks like the pain is getting to you. Come on." She helped me to my feet and supported my weight as we walked out of the Black Pegasus and onto the street. As she called a cab and helped me in, I thought, <She knows. She knows, but she won't tell. She'll keep my secret. We're both the same, in a way. Neither of us is who we say we are. Neither of us can really admit to being human anymore. We both have a secret that would kill us if it got out. And we both have each other. Friends.> <I hope.>
Forward to Chapter 30.
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